I love writing. I was so proud of myself the first few weeks of this blogrimage. It wasn't always easy to sit down and focus, but I was always so glad when I did. And it's not like the posts were anything super special, but just getting into the habit made me feel more productive.
I've been reading a lot lately - some books about writing, some books not - and it seems that no matter what I'm reading my mind ties it back to my need to write. I think it is something good for me and something I need to do. Not just for me, but for something bigger than me. But I don't feel like I'm ready. Then again, I won't be ready unless I practice, practice, practice.
Even though I always recognize how much more valuable something is after it's had to be fought for and earned, I still always want things to come easy. I get mad when I'm not immediately good at something, so I just don't pursue it, no matter how much I want it. I will not let writing be like this.
Resistance is getting me down and I need to overcome.
I've spent the last couple weeks trying to figure out if I should do another blogrimage or start a permanent blog that has a purpose and direction (unlike my xanga), or both. And if I do either or both of those, what will I write about? Many times I feel like I need to have everything totally and completely organized before I can begin, and life just doesn't allow that. Sometimes you have to cook dinner with dirty dishes all around or you won't eat til midnight; sometimes you have to just start replying to and deleting emails or you'll forever have 1266 messages in your inbox (true story); sometimes you have to just take the 15 minutes your mom can spare to talk or you'll have to wait another week. The conditions will never be perfect or exactly as I'd like, but I need to keep focusing on doing what I can with what I have where I am. And luckily, writing is something that can be done anywhere.
Stay tuned for my future blog decision...
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